A Yogi?

Since the summer after 8th grade I have always incorporated some sort of physical activity into my life.  It was that summer that this slow, white, asthmatic girl surprised my parents with my announcement to join the cross country team.  Thus began my long journey in running which evolved over time into yoga.  I now practice yoga at least three times a week.  My mat has become a place where I re-group, pray, focus, and let go.  Recently I decided to add some things to my mat that I want to bring with me into the yoga room.  I was very selective about what made the cut.  I try to keep my life simple and didn't want clutter around me during my practice.  Here is what I chose...
1. A picture of my boys...if I do nothing else in life well I want to be a great mother at least 60% of the time
2. My business card...reminds me to pray for my clients, think about my vision for work...creating a space for people to come and gain the emotional healing they need to be fully alive
3. My favorite Scripture...I believe healing happens when we look at things in a balanced way...while I am practicing the physical activity of yoga I also want to focus on my faith, intelligence, and emotional self.
4. A list of the 12 Steps.  Several members of my family have worked the 12 Steps and I find them valuable to incorporate into my life as well.
5. A photograph of a banana.  LOL.  It was the only food photo I could find in my art supply box that represented what I wanted here...when I am doing physical activity I am truly trying to find the connection between what I eat and how I feel.  For many months I have focused on organic foods and now am leaning toward a plant based diet for awhile to fuel myself correctly.

Perhaps I will add something or take away something over time but these are the things that are important to me right now.

Courage

My older son has been watching kids go off the low diving board at the pool all summer.  He isn't tall enough to do the slides but a lifeguard told him he could do the low dive.  Yesterday when we had our older neighbor friend with us at the pool Tommy decided it was the day.  I was nervous.  I stood right on the edge of the pool in case I had to jump in and get him.  I wasn't sure if he understood what a big swim it was to the edge after jumping in.  In his own little quiet, confident way he walked over the board and stood in line behind all the middle school kids that looked enormous to me.  When it was his turn he didn't look back at his brother or me.  He walked to the edge, took a deep breath and seemed to reach deep inside himself, and jumped.  I was so proud of him.  SO proud.  But then it seemed like it took forever to get to the ladder.  I wasn't sure how he would respond when he got out of the pool.  Hank and I gave him high fives and said, "Alright!!"  He semi-smiled and walked back over to the diving board line.  I hope I am as courageous as he is someday.

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Deuteronomy 31:6

Out with the Old List, In With the New!

It seems like every mom I talked to in May had a "Summer Bucket List." A list of exciting things they were going to do with their kids: 1. Go to the Zoo, 2. Visit a water park, 3. Adopt a pet.  You get the idea.

As a recovering people pleaser AND one to always feel like I should be doing what everyone else is doing, I had my list ready to go by June 1.  (Last summer I was apparently more on my A-game and had the list ready by Memorial Day).  For the past 20 days I have been busting my ass bottom to either do or schedule our list, shown below.

1. Blueberry Patch
2. Science City
3. Lego Land
4. Have a garage sale
5. Find muffin, cookie, and popscicle recipes we all like and are good for us. Cook them together.
6. Do art projects once a week
7. Zoo
8. Chuck-E-Cheese
9. Have all the boys from Tommy's Pre-K class over for play time
10. Have a picnic in Loose Park

Seems like it would be pretty easy to do those 10 things, right?  So far we have done or at least made an attempt to do half of the list. I'll go for one more and then stop.  I'm tired.  The problem is that the list doesn't include stuff like go to the library, read books, lay around in our underwear, play with the sprinkler in the backyard, go to the pool 5 days in a row, go to Colorado twice, sleep in, etc.  All the normal stuff we are going to do anyway.

SO.  I'm making a new list.  To-do lists make me feel like crap about myself.  I never get everything done on them and feel like a failure at the end of the day.  I'm a pretty productive person, and I usually accomplish many things in my waking hours.  They just may not be what I wrote down or what I thought needed doing.  With my kids and my business for the rest of the summer I am going to write down what I did AFTER the fact.  I'm encouraging my clients to do the same.  Here's this week's list so far:

1. Tried Lego Land but decided it was too expensive and I didn't want to wait in line for an hour.  Went in the free gift shop and bought each of my kids a $3 lego man.  Told them it was so awesome to see all those legos and went and played in the Crown Center fountains and free dino exhibit for the rest of the day.
2. Slept in 2x
3. Had a friend on our street over to play
4. Played hide-and-seek
5. Went to the pool and got my hair wet so Hank could jump to me
6. Boys played in the backyard sprinkler in their underwear
7. Got some new books and movies from the library.  Read some
8. Snuck some flax seed oil and protein powder in a no-bake cookie
9. Took business gift cards and brochures to 3 churches, made a bunch of calls to churches
10. Went to yoga twice

I feel so much better!

Why 60/40?

Somewhere along my journey I heard about something called the 60/40 rule.  When it was described to me I thought it was ridiculous.  Ridiculous, I tell you.  The idea behind the rule is that most people do things well about 60% of the time.  Yes 60 is the percentage of time I am a patient, loving mom, teach my children values, get the work done I want to in a day, laugh as much as I want to, am engaged and present in what is going on around me, have a good outfit on, make it to church on time, have my house clean, know the right thing to say to my clients, and am a caring friend, daughter, sister, and ex-wife.

"Shouldn't this percentage be at least 80/20?" I've thought to myself.  The idea of 80/20 seems much more like what other people are doing. One of my friends has great hair 100/0.  Surely I could make it on at least a few things to 80/20. But over the last few years every time I strive for more than 60/40 I fail.  For me, more than 60/40 doesn't leave room for grace, humility, rest, and letting go.  There is something beautiful that happens when you lower your expectations a bit.  I smile more when I mess up.  I stop and pray when I'm trying to do more than I should.  I trust God and others to fill in the gaps instead of just myself.

My boys and I are 60/40 people.  We've been through a lot.  We aren't perfect.  We're counting on the messy 40% to be made beautiful somehow.  We know 100% that happiness in our lives is both already but not yet.  So for now we'll take the 60% we can handle and let go of the 40.